Today I'm writing things I need to read myself. https://divinewalls.com/whatever-is-true-whatever The first qualification this verse gives is "whatever is true." That's the very first thing we should consider when we decide if we should allow certain thoughts precious time in our minds. Today I want to talk about something that's true, because sometimes false messages have a way of sneaking in. They do that with you too, when you least expect it. Today's truth:  I am enough. I'm no longer a size 6. I'm enough. I'm not tall, with long legs, and I have to hem everything I wear. I am enough. My complexion isn't flawless. I'm still enough. I have suffered more heartache than I thought I'd be able to survive. I am enough. I have inner scars that will always be a sign of the things I've gong through. I'm enough. I now wear a scarlet "D" that will cause me to be judged by some. (I know they aren't the ones wh

It's been eight months since I left my ex-husband. Only a few months really, but so much healing has happened in my life in that short amount of time. I posted a while back about the biggest difference between now and then being hope. That's still true. I used to be so stuck, and now I can dream and see so many possibilities for my life. Recently my mom and I went to my former town for the weekend. I was able to attend church where I attended for 5 1/2 years. I saw friends that I have been missing. It really was a good time! I've mentioned before that before I left I really had a hard time keeping myself together. I was constantly on the verge of tears. I'm sure anyone who wasn't oblivious could see it. That's why it was good to hear a couple of the comments that weekend from some of the people that I used to go to church with. One lady told me I was beautiful. I know we usually think of beauty as clear skin, straight teeth, stylish clothes, and carefully-

No, I haven’t died. Life is just happening.  Lately I’ve been reading Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It is the first of several books I want to read as part of my healing process, and it is a real eye-opener. I’m not even finished with it yet, but I have seen myself in some of the pages.  One thing I recognized in myself is what the authors refer to as the false solution of doing the opposite. I was once deeply hurt by a guy who was dominated by his mother and just couldn’t cut the apron strings. So when I met the man I married and he was rude and unkind to his mother, I didn’t recognize that as the red flag it was. I was just so glad he didn’t let her push him around. In that regard, I was drawn to the opposite of what I had before when neither extreme was healthy.  The book talks quite a bit about people who close themselves off from relationships, both romantic and platonic, because they have been hurt in the past. I’m certainly in that posit

If you're married or even seriously dating you might read books and blogs with marriage advice. You'll hear advice from pastors, family, friends, maybe even strangers. A lot of that advice will be good for some, or even most situations. The problem is when you are hearing and reading advice that isn't good for you. The person giving the advice will mean well. But they just can't see the full picture. Today I want to talk about some advice that can actually be harmful if implemented in a toxic marriage. I'm not listing these in a particular order. I'm just writing as I think of these.  Don't talk negatively about your spouse to other people. See the problem with this? If you are being abused in some way, keeping quiet about it is the last thing you should do. This just enables the abuse to go on. Tell people what is happening to you. Some may not believe you. Find someone that will.  Don't focus on the change your spouse needs to make. Focus on

It's been too long since my last post. I have nothing to say for myself, except that life has been happening. I've had a migraine today, so this may not be very eloquent. But something has come to mind a few times lately that I want to discuss. If you've read my blog before, then you know my story, or at least part of it. It's not pretty by any means! I was a young woman hoping and praying to meet an amazing man who would sweep me off my feet. Then I met someone who seemed so amazing, and we were both smitten, and we got married and lived happily ever after. Except we didn't. We got married, and after a while I slowly started to realize what a huge mistake I had made. I was in a painful mess. You probably know that, but it's a recap for any first-time readers. (And please check out some of my other posts) Every once in a while I'll be in a conversation with someone about things that I went through in my marriage, and I can't help but think, "W

There are many things that are different, now that I have left my husband. I  live in a different part of the state. I live with my parents again until I can get some things figured out financially. I'm attending the church I attended before moving away when I got married, but there is a new pastor now. I no longer have the security a wife has (or should have) of someone taking care of her. I know my family will take care of me, and my church will. No one will ever let me be without things I need. I'm driving an old Toyota I've had forever, because my husband got to keep the newer car. I wouldn't have wanted to bring the payments with me, along with the newer car, so there is that. I loved my role as a full-time housekeeper/cook/domestic goddess when I was with my husband. When I left, I knew I would have to polish up my resume and find employment. At this point I've only had temporary jobs, but something will open up. It's not easy reinventing myself.