It's been eight months since I left my ex-husband. Only a few months really, but so much healing has happened in my life in that short amount of time. I posted a while back about the biggest difference between now and then being hope. That's still true. I used to be so stuck, and now I can dream and see so many possibilities for my life. Recently my mom and I went to my former town for the weekend. I was able to attend church where I attended for 5 1/2 years. I saw friends that I have been missing. It really was a good time! I've mentioned before that before I left I really had a hard time keeping myself together. I was constantly on the verge of tears. I'm sure anyone who wasn't oblivious could see it. That's why it was good to hear a couple of the comments that weekend from some of the people that I used to go to church with. One lady told me I was beautiful. I know we usually think of beauty as clear skin, straight teeth, stylish clothes, and carefully-...

No, I haven’t died. Life is just happening.  Lately I’ve been reading Safe People by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It is the first of several books I want to read as part of my healing process, and it is a real eye-opener. I’m not even finished with it yet, but I have seen myself in some of the pages.  One thing I recognized in myself is what the authors refer to as the false solution of doing the opposite. I was once deeply hurt by a guy who was dominated by his mother and just couldn’t cut the apron strings. So when I met the man I married and he was rude and unkind to his mother, I didn’t recognize that as the red flag it was. I was just so glad he didn’t let her push him around. In that regard, I was drawn to the opposite of what I had before when neither extreme was healthy.  The book talks quite a bit about people who close themselves off from relationships, both romantic and platonic, because they have been hurt i...

Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Shouldn't there be thorns among the roses? Unfortunately, that's not how life works sometimes. We want our life to have roses, but it has thorns instead. But I think if we look close enough we can see some roses among those thorns. Sometimes they are pretty hidden and we have to really pay attention. It's interesting how marrying my husband brought so much heartache to my life, but at the same time brought me blessings. Marrying him was a huge mistake, and if I could tell my younger self what to do, I would say don't do it. BUT if I hadn't married him I wouldn't have been able to attend the church I attended for over 5 years and made so many great friends. I have some girlfriends now that I consider best friends from my years in McMinnville. My life is so much richer because of them! What about my husband's family that I now consider my own? They are awesome! Every time that the whole group gets t...

You may be wondering how I'm really doing, so I wanted to post this letter and let you know. It's occurred to me that it would be natural for you to think of me as being really sad because that's how I was when you last saw me. Every day was a battle, and at times it was so hard to keep my tears at bay. Sometimes I couldn't keep them at bay. Now things are different. I have so much hope for the future. I have a smile on my face. I don't walk around with tears just waiting to be shed. I'm in such a good place for this time in my life;  it's so good to be with my family. I definitely have some healing to do, and I have to be patient with that process. But the church family here has wrapped their arms around me and stood with me like you did when I was there. (I still feel your arms from a distance <3) It's a little hard to know how much of this to go into because there are wonderful people that I really don't want to hurt. But I didn't ...