Skip to main content

A Letter to My Friends and Family in McMinnville

You may be wondering how I'm really doing, so I wanted to post this letter and let you know. It's occurred to me that it would be natural for you to think of me as being really sad because that's how I was when you last saw me. Every day was a battle, and at times it was so hard to keep my tears at bay. Sometimes I couldn't keep them at bay.

Now things are different. I have so much hope for the future. I have a smile on my face. I don't walk around with tears just waiting to be shed. I'm in such a good place for this time in my life;  it's so good to be with my family. I definitely have some healing to do, and I have to be patient with that process. But the church family here has wrapped their arms around me and stood with me like you did when I was there. (I still feel your arms from a distance <3)


It's a little hard to know how much of this to go into because there are wonderful people that I really don't want to hurt. But I didn't leave for the reason you may think. The truth is that we had a troubled marriage for quite some time. There came a time when too much damage had been done for me to stay. I'm not giving out all the details, especially right now, on my blog, but I hope you will just trust that I had sufficient reason to leave. I went through things no wife (or husband) should ever have to go through.

I want to thank you for your support. I wouldn't have made it without an awesome support system, and you all stepped up to the plate. I never lacked for someone to pray with me or say an encouraging word to me or just give me a hug. It means so much! I had people take me to lunch, and I had help with the packing and moving process. Someone even filled a prescription for me after I didn't get any sleep one night and I was afraid to drive. Pastor and Sis Davies let me know I had their full support, and they were available to me when I needed them. I know if it had been in their power to remove any of my suffering, they would have done it. I am so very grateful to so many people!


Now I'm looking at the future. Things are very unsure, but I know God has good plans for me. I have some ideas about what to do with the next few years of my life, but I haven't made any decisions. But good things are happening. I'm healing, and I want to be able to help someone else because of what I've been through. And I'm finally sleeping at night, which is a huge improvement for me. 

I love you, friends. You haven't seen the last of me! I'll be there when I can for a good round of hugs!


Labels:

Comments

  1. UnknownApril 4, 2018 at 12:33 PM

    Ash, we all miss you, but we are glad you are doing well. Support means a lot; if you can get it, take it.

    Should I ever decide to leave, I hope I will have some of that same support. Even though my situation is different, I am still "suddenly single." I have no real family anywhere close. Well, my oldest son, but he's a dodger.

    It meant a lot when you helped me with my last move from the house into the duplex. Even though you were probably going through things at that time, you reached out to someone in need. Thanks! I'm so happy that you are on the mend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Contemplations of an EmpathApril 4, 2018 at 7:30 PM


      I hope you get good support if you decide to move too. It’s so important!

      I’m glad I was able to help you a few times. I don’t remember what things were like for me right then, but I think it can help to forget about ourselves and our own problems for a little bit and be helpful to someone else. :-)

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In Case You Were Wondering...

I've been thinking I should probably write a post to clear up a few questions that some people may have about my blog and its purpose.  I'm going to try to do that today. My blog is to help me heal emotionally, and hopefully help someone else who is going through something similar. I want to tell people that need to hear it that change can come to their lives, and they can be strong enough to take steps that they need to take. Some of you may be wondering how I feel about marriage now that I've been wounded so much by someone who was supposed to love me. I still believe in marriage. I've seen too many good marriages to believe that good marriages don't exist. Of course they require a lot of work by both people involved for it to be that way. I do feel like it's not fair that I went into marriage willing to give it my best, and my husband went into it...I don't know. I like to think he probably had good intentions at first. But he certainly didn't...
4 comments
Read more

What Must They Think?

It's been too long since my last post. I have nothing to say for myself, except that life has been happening. I've had a migraine today, so this may not be very eloquent. But something has come to mind a few times lately that I want to discuss. If you've read my blog before, then you know my story, or at least part of it. It's not pretty by any means! I was a young woman hoping and praying to meet an amazing man who would sweep me off my feet. Then I met someone who seemed so amazing, and we were both smitten, and we got married and lived happily ever after. Except we didn't. We got married, and after a while I slowly started to realize what a huge mistake I had made. I was in a painful mess. You probably know that, but it's a recap for any first-time readers. (And please check out some of my other posts) Every once in a while I'll be in a conversation with someone about things that I went through in my marriage, and I can't help but think, "W...
2 comments
Read more

We Can't Get Stuck On "If Only"

Have you ever thought, "If only I could lose weight?" or "If only I could afford a new car?" Quite a few of us have! Hopefully, those are only passing thoughts and we don't get stuck there. I've had some "if onlys" come to the surface during my healing process. I think that's pretty normal. If only I had been wiser. If only we had taken the dating process more slowly and given any red flags time to show themselves clearly. If only he had been what he seemed. If only I had asked harder questions. If only I had tried marriage counseling earlier. If only I had been more honest with our mutual friends about what he was like. If only we had gotten better advice. If only he had gotten the kick in the rear that he needed instead of me being told things that I needed to do. The big one I have struggled with is when I felt like I was close to the end of my rope and sought out help, but I didn't feel like our situation was taken as serious...
3 comments
Read more