You may be wondering how I'm really doing, so I wanted to post this letter and let you know. It's occurred to me that it would be natural for you to think of me as being really sad because that's how I was when you last saw me. Every day was a battle, and at times it was so hard to keep my tears at bay. Sometimes I couldn't keep them at bay.
Now things are different. I have so much hope for the future. I have a smile on my face. I don't walk around with tears just waiting to be shed. I'm in such a good place for this time in my life; it's so good to be with my family. I definitely have some healing to do, and I have to be patient with that process. But the church family here has wrapped their arms around me and stood with me like you did when I was there. (I still feel your arms from a distance <3)
It's a little hard to know how much of this to go into because there are wonderful people that I really don't want to hurt. But I didn't leave for the reason you may think. The truth is that we had a troubled marriage for quite some time. There came a time when too much damage had been done for me to stay. I'm not giving out all the details, especially right now, on my blog, but I hope you will just trust that I had sufficient reason to leave. I went through things no wife (or husband) should ever have to go through.
I want to thank you for your support. I wouldn't have made it without an awesome support system, and you all stepped up to the plate. I never lacked for someone to pray with me or say an encouraging word to me or just give me a hug. It means so much! I had people take me to lunch, and I had help with the packing and moving process. Someone even filled a prescription for me after I didn't get any sleep one night and I was afraid to drive. Pastor and Sis Davies let me know I had their full support, and they were available to me when I needed them. I know if it had been in their power to remove any of my suffering, they would have done it. I am so very grateful to so many people!
Now things are different. I have so much hope for the future. I have a smile on my face. I don't walk around with tears just waiting to be shed. I'm in such a good place for this time in my life; it's so good to be with my family. I definitely have some healing to do, and I have to be patient with that process. But the church family here has wrapped their arms around me and stood with me like you did when I was there. (I still feel your arms from a distance <3)
It's a little hard to know how much of this to go into because there are wonderful people that I really don't want to hurt. But I didn't leave for the reason you may think. The truth is that we had a troubled marriage for quite some time. There came a time when too much damage had been done for me to stay. I'm not giving out all the details, especially right now, on my blog, but I hope you will just trust that I had sufficient reason to leave. I went through things no wife (or husband) should ever have to go through.
I want to thank you for your support. I wouldn't have made it without an awesome support system, and you all stepped up to the plate. I never lacked for someone to pray with me or say an encouraging word to me or just give me a hug. It means so much! I had people take me to lunch, and I had help with the packing and moving process. Someone even filled a prescription for me after I didn't get any sleep one night and I was afraid to drive. Pastor and Sis Davies let me know I had their full support, and they were available to me when I needed them. I know if it had been in their power to remove any of my suffering, they would have done it. I am so very grateful to so many people!
Now I'm looking at the future. Things are very unsure, but I know God has good plans for me. I have some ideas about what to do with the next few years of my life, but I haven't made any decisions. But good things are happening. I'm healing, and I want to be able to help someone else because of what I've been through. And I'm finally sleeping at night, which is a huge improvement for me.
I love you, friends. You haven't seen the last of me! I'll be there when I can for a good round of hugs!
Ash, we all miss you, but we are glad you are doing well. Support means a lot; if you can get it, take it.
ReplyDeleteShould I ever decide to leave, I hope I will have some of that same support. Even though my situation is different, I am still "suddenly single." I have no real family anywhere close. Well, my oldest son, but he's a dodger.
It meant a lot when you helped me with my last move from the house into the duplex. Even though you were probably going through things at that time, you reached out to someone in need. Thanks! I'm so happy that you are on the mend.
DeleteI hope you get good support if you decide to move too. It’s so important!
I’m glad I was able to help you a few times. I don’t remember what things were like for me right then, but I think it can help to forget about ourselves and our own problems for a little bit and be helpful to someone else. :-)