A few days ago I was in my former town and was able to see so many friends. It was amazing! I think people were able to see that a lot of healing has happened in my life; I'm way different from how I was when I left.
That caused me to start thinking about my healing process and consider what the things may be that have helped me along the way.
That caused me to start thinking about my healing process and consider what the things may be that have helped me along the way.
- When I left I KNEW I was making the right decision. That gave me a peace, even though my life was upside down. I definitely could have left sooner, and I had plenty of reason to, but I waited until I knew it was absolutely the right choice. Because of this, I've never looked back or doubted my path.
- My support has been incredible. I know I've mentioned things in this regard before, but I've always had people who have had my back. When I needed someone to talk to, when I needed help moving, when I needed a hug, there was always someone. I'll always be grateful.
- I told myself the truth about myself and my situation. Someone who had endured abuse of any kind can really struggle with self-worth. Sometimes there is a tiny place inside that starts to believe that they deserve that kind of treatment, so once they get out of one bad situation they repeat it with someone else. But when I was still in my marriage and after I left, I rejected that. I told myself (and him) that I didn't deserve that treatment. I told myself that I was awesome and very much worth loving. I now tell myself that a future relationship wouldn't depend on whether or not someone would want me. It would depend on whether or not I wanted him.
- I've allowed myself to feel the emotions that have come up, and I haven't been afraid of them. Grief, anger, resentment, whatever. I can't stuff my feelings and expect to heal. That doesn't mean I wallow in those feelings, but I try to acknowledge that they're there, and I have more work to do. Then I release them as I can. Prayer helps with this.
- I blocked him on social media. I wanted to keep things on a friendly basis as much as possible, so I didn't do that at first. But he left me a few comments I had to delete, so a while back I decided it was time. And it's amazing the difference it has made for me to not see what he is posting! My peace level definitely went up by my taking that one action.
- I'm trying to look for good in my situation. Maybe I'll be able to help other people that are hurting. I certainly hope so! Anticipating the greater good helps the healing along.
Will you send your support team my way LOL? I would love to have someone to guard my back. I know my situation is different, but it helps to have people in your corner.
ReplyDelete“Come to the edge,” he said.
ReplyDelete“We can’t, we’re afraid!” they responded.
“Come to the edge,” he said.
“We can’t, We will fall!” they responded.
“Come to the edge,” he said.
And so they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.” ― Guillaume Apollinaire
Someone posted this on Widows and Widowers, and I can so relate to this! I am not sure how the story began, but I like the ending. I have always had a fear of heights - flying, mountains, bridges, ladders, balconies, etc. Now, today, this could be applied to my current status in life. I feel somewhat stuck in my grief, dangling over a dark precipice, at the end of my rope...I'm like, "PLEASE don't push me."
I believe that God provides "parachutes" for us when we take that leap of faith. Sounds like you are already soaring, so flap those wings and keep going.